What to Do?
Problem teenagers are everywhere - it's just that when one lives in your home, you can feel isolated, desperate and quite alone.
Although the teen himself is not a "problem", his behavior surely can be. He would not take kindly to the title "Problem Teenager" either, because in his mind, it would mean he is just a problem to be solved, rather than an individual to be loved.
Parents the world over struggle with their rebellious teens, and many do not know why there are such issues. After all, what happened to that sweet, loving 12 year old who used to live in your house?
Teens may be rebellious for any number of reasons - and most rebellious teens won't be sitting down to discuss calmly with you WHY they feel that way!
Rebellion in teens may be displayed in a variety of ways including:
- Chronic bad attitude
- Intentional rule-breaking
- Physical aggression
- Verbal abuse
....and the list goes on and on.
Rebellion in teens is certainly not limited to boys, either. Many girls can be just as difficult to handle as rebellious boys may be.
What Causes an Angry Teenager?
The list could be as long as your arm and then some.
Teens have stressful lives - there's no doubt about it. School demands, peer pressure, and less-than-ideal home situations in addition to changing hormone levels and the realization that they are growing up to move out on their own - all of these factors together can make life feel like a pretty scary place for a teen.
We also need to understand that almost always - anger is a secondary emotion.
What does that mean?
Fear might be called by numerous other more "socially acceptable" tag titles, including:
- Uncertainty about the future
- Emphasis on self-defense (fear of harm)
- Fear of "not measuring up" (socially, academically, physically, emotionally)
- Lack of hope that life will get better
You probably won't have to think for very long before you may pinpoint how many of these emotions your own teen may be struggling with.
What's the Problem and the Solution?
Many problem teenagers today are like a ship without a rudder. There are numerous teens who don't claim a faith in God, or who may even have a hard time believing that they are loved and that they have a purpose in life.
At the root of their behaviors is FEAR, and that is magnified by a lack of problem solving skills.
Likely your teen does, too.
* What if I ask out that girl and I'm rejected?
* What if I fail my classes?
* What if I don't pass my driver's test?
* What if I goof up and my parents won't love me anymore?
There are literally millions of things we can "what if" about. And that is rooted in fear and a lack of problem solving abilities.
To address this lack of problem solving skills, there is much that parents can do to help their teens (even if you don't understand all the "whys").
I use and recommend highly the training program pictured on the banners to the right for teens and children of all ages. It will provide for you a comprehensive plan for parenting your teens in an effective manner.
I encourage you to check it out today, and I welcome your personal feedback.
Remember, those trying teens have the potential to develop into Amazing Adults with your guidance and love!